Editors
Nick Martens
Nick Martens received a traditional American education. His curriculum comprised old Simpsons reruns, violent videogames, and obscure websites of ill repute. He feels perfectly at home in the modern world. You can email him, if you like.
Kevin Nguyen
Kevin Nguyen’s only marketable skill is an above-average knowledge of European geography. He has been useless since the introduction of the atlas in 1477. Reach him by email or follow his Twitter account.
Assistant Editor
Darryl Campbell
Darryl Campbell once got called an “elitist young author” by John Stossel, which he considers one of his top-ten lifetime accomplishments so far. Others include writing for The Christian Science Monitor and the Chronicle of Higher Education, paying off his car loan a year early, and getting a Twitter account. Send him an email.
Writers
Jordan Barber
Jordan Barber is proud that the internet allows him to criticize, admonish, and irritate people from his own living room. And though this immense power only comes to the few, he promises to wield his hammer of judgment with a standoffish, thoughtful outlook.
Caitlin Boersma
Caitlin Boersma is studying political science and English, but spends most of her time analyzing pop culture. Her premise for a new reality TV show, Killing Andy Milonakis, has yet to be picked up by VH1. She is notorious for spending a week’s wages on a ticket to see Morrissey live.
Locke McKenzie
Locke McKenzie is an English graduate from the University of Puget Sound. Currently, he is on a Fulbright scholarship in Hamburg, Germany, where he works as an English teaching assistant at a local school. In his free time, Locke continues to push forward with his pursuit of a penniless writing career.
Jeff Merrion
While he excels in most other areas, Jeff Merrion’s spatial logic falls within the lower third percentile of United States citizens. He is a Religious Studies major and, as such, has a long life of administrative assistantship awaiting him. To potential employers: Jeff makes a mean cup of coffee.
Contributing Writers
Sean Adams
Sean Adams has had humor featured on McSweeney’s. He also writes the column “Landrew’s Take on Technology” for dislocate under the name Landrew Kentmore. He lives in a small town in Iowa for reasons that are unclear but make sense.
Daniel Adler
In late 2008, Daniel Adler traveled between South Korea, Taiwan, Japan, China, and Vietnam to study the effectiveness of Sister City relationships. As he left America, he was told that “Sister Cities don’t do anything,” but having traded shots of ginseng liquor with the mayor of Gunsan, South Korea, he believes he has disproved that theory. Images from Daniel’s travels can be viewed at his personal photography website, Adlerography.
Ben Bateman
Ben Bateman grew up on a mountain in the middle of Nowhere, CA, and his eerily encyclopedic knowledge of nowhere and mountains stultifies critics and other animals. He writes poetry and performs stand-up in Portland, OR.
Peter Braden
Peter Braden left Scotland to wander the world. He currently lives in San Francisco and works on the internet which means he’s morally obligated to have a website.
Sam Burnett
Sam Burnett is from Tasmania and writes about pop culture for The Mercury.
Chas Carey
Chas Carey is graduate student currently studying at Georgetown in Washington DC. His work appears regularly at the Hearth Gods reading series in New York. His occasional ramblings and design work appear erratically here.
Whitney Carpenter
Whitney Carpenter is a would-be writer who spends her time starting great cubicle conversations with questions like, “Which soda do you think is the classiest?” She blogs the mundane at Little Nearer.
Colin Cronin
Colin Cronin originally contemplated a career as a concert pianist and studied Music Performance at the University of Puget Sound. Realizing his heart belonged not to the stage but rather to student debt, Colin returned for a fifth year and acquired an only slightly more relevant major in Politics & Government. You can experience more of such brilliance at his blog, Tabris’ Corner.
Lindsay Crouse
Lindsay Crouse has spent her entire life living somewhere along Amtrak’s northeast corridor (first Kingston RI, then a brief stint in Boston for college, and now New York City). Her day job in global health keeps her out of the city more than she’s in it. Email her.
Daniel D’Addario
Daniel D’Addario, a former editor of the college news and gossip site IvyGate, has written for The Daily Beast, The Awl, and Newsweek.
Jack Eichorst
Jack Eichorst is currently a student of Political Science at Northwestern University. He is actively involved in student government, and is always searching for any other opportunities to be labeled as “ineffective” and “self-aggrandizing.” In his free time, he is mostly ineffective and self-aggrandizing.
Josh Fischel
Josh Fischel lives near Boston and used to teach English. He has written for several print and web publications, including The Believer and Monkeybicycle.
BJ Fischer
BJ Fischer is a writer and blogger who has published on subjects including the use of baseball by conservatives and the significance of the moon landing to someone who watched it as a five year old. He is also an award-winning creator of television and public relations commercials and campaigns. He lives in Saline, Michigan, outside Ann Arbor.
Alexa Fritzsche
Alexa Fritzsche can often be found with her head buried in a biology textbook or a Times crossword.
Ralph Gamelli
Ralph Gamelli is of average height, weight, and intelligence, and requires the average amount of time to grow a respectable mustache. His ability to write an interesting bio, however, is far below average.
Drew Gemmer
Drew Gemmer is a psychology graduate from the University of Puget Sound. He resides in the rose-colored city of Portland, Oregon, where he spends time serving food to rich people and acting as an assistant editor of The St. Johns Sentinel.
Chris George
Chris George is pursuing his graduate studies in American Government at Georgetown University in Washington DC.
Jonathan Gourlay
Jonathan Gourlay is a graduate of the University of Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where he first became fascinated with raising pigs. Turns out that raising pigs is difficult work, not suited to poets. He is now studying Linguistics in Chicago after living eleven years on the island of Pohnpei in Micronesia.
Emily Guerin
Emily Guerin works as an environmental educator and newbie journalist in Maine, where she actively works to disprove the stigma that all people from Massachusetts are “Massholes.” When she leaves New England, she gravitates towards Latin America or the American West.
Hudson Hongo
Hudson Hongo lives in the Pacific Northwest, and it will stay that way if he can help it. He has written for McSweeney’s and The Morning News. Hudson maintains a web presence here.
Kassia Karr
Kassia Karr is a graduate of Boston University, where she concentrated in South Asian and development studies. She currently lives and works at a design studio in New Delhi. Check out her website.
Tim Lehman
Tim Lehman is a graduate of Macalester College. In his spare time, he attempts to relive the four months he spent studying in Amsterdam by drinking Grolsch and eating sub-standard Minnesota falafel. He may well be missing the point.
Bowman Leigh
Bowman Leigh hails from Portland, OR but is currently in Australia studying sustainability. Talents include a knack for public embarrassment, fig-tree climbing, and obsessive cleaning, but her passion is in perfecting “bush-dance” moves.
Brandon Lueken
Brandon Lueken is a graduate from the University of Puget Sound with a Bachelor’s Degree in English. He has done many things, including editing his college newspaper, writing and directing a short play, angering large groups of people en masse, and acting as both the good and the bad shoulder angel. One day, Brandon hopes to give people their dreams, but whether this is literal or figurative, no one knows.
Zachary Martin
Zachary Martin is a graduate of the University of Chicago and the Creative Writing Program at Florida State University. His fiction, non-fiction, and humor have appeared in Fourth Genre, The Louisville Review, Washington Square, The Southeast Review, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and elsewhere. He is a PhD candidate in Fiction at the University of Houston’s Creative Writing Program and an instructor at the Gotham Writers’ Workshops.
Andrew McGill
Andrew McGill is a journalism student at Penn State. On the job, he’s interviewed accused murderers about their shoe preferences and published the phrase “a pilferer’s tickle.” Google it!
Whitney Medved
Whitney Medved is currently living in the hills of Central Slovakia on a Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship grant, “teaching some English and hanging out with old people.” Word on the street is students refer to her as “the Hurricane.”
Greg Merrell
Greg Merrell enjoys music equivalent to post-modern art, believes the spoon is a superior eating utensil to the fork, and believes the analog synthesizer is the song of god. He currently plays in the bands $2,000 Puma and Mellowtron and the Harp.
Grady Miller
Grady Miller’s humor pieces have appeared in numerous publications on and offline, including the Los Angeles Times, The Morning News, the LA Daily News, and The Cynic.
Carrie Miltenberger
Carrie Miltenberger is currently a senior at the University of Puget Sound majoring in Creative Writing. After living abroad for a year, she is struggling with regular life in America and is trying to figure out a way to live and work in the EU.
Dan Minch
Dan Minch reinforces his existence as a Theology and Classical Studies major at Villanova University with an epic addiction to Fair Trade coffee. His thinking is split between dead languages and bits of Thai picked up from being the only white person at an Asian restaurant. He hopes to one day be paid to drink coffee and read the Bible.
Stephen Morgan
Stephen Morgan is a Ph.D. student in Modern European History at the University of Notre Dame. He has been known to insist that his students refer to him as “future professor Morgan.” He is currently caught in a brutal dialectic of terror known as comprehensive exam preparation.
Chloe Novak
A double major in philosophy and political theory, Chloe Novak spends much of her free time paralyzed by existential terror. She also enjoys baking cobblers and reading about neuroscience and astrophysics, grasping roughly 30% through conjecture and a cursory knowledge of Latin and Greek roots.
Connor O’Brien
Connor O’Brien studies Creative Writing at an Australian university. At the office of the magazine he works for, an entire wall is dedicated to a collage of hate mail addressed to him personally. He believes this means he must be doing something right. Thus far, however, the nutters haven’t found his blog.
Kara Phelps
Kara Phelps, a writer, studied anthropology at New College of Florida. She “went native” after doing fieldwork in the newsroom of a local paper, and became a reporter as well. Her notes are illegible.
Adam Restad
Adam Restad is 22, bi-curious, and has had poems and short stories published in two editions of the crappiest literary magazine at the University of Puget Sound.
Scott Rothman
Scott Rothman is a screenwriter living in New York City.
Alice Stanley
Alice Stanley is a native of Chicago, IL. She digs comedy improvisation and is unbeatable at Pac-Man.
Michelle Stoler
Michelle Stoler lives in Chile, where she spends most of her time trying not to look like a gringa. She enjoys making up false identities to strangers and has an uncanny ability to guess what time it is.
Lucinda Stroud
Lucinda Stroud is a creative writing major and holds the firm belief that it is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all.
Jon Swihart
Jon Swihart lives in Boulder, CO, where everyone owns a frisbee and dogs are allowed in the grocery store. He works in the corporate office of a tea company doing design work, film editing, database maintenance, and pretty much anything else you wouldn’t associate with tea. In his spare time he’s into graphic design, illustration, his band Missing Fundamentals, and a variety of cartoon shows that don’t air until reasonable people are sleeping.
David Tveite
David C. Tveite, Esq. is an English and history student at the University of Puget Sound. His coming of age was badly stunted by Hollywood fame when he appeared at age fourteen on the hit CBS series Survivor: The Moon. He still considers himself a celebrity, and it’s beginning to make his family and friends sad. He also writes A Regular Dude’s World Atlas.
Laura Yan
Laura Yan is a part-time/aspiring starving/freelance writer/blogger/novelist, occasional photographer, frequent observer of people and details, easily seduced by the beautiful and exotic, prone to late night obsessions, and currently resides in Brooklyn with desperate hopes and impossible dreams. She blogs at Tweexcore.
Illustrators
Hallie Bateman
Go a few generations back in Hallie Bateman’s family tree and there are just claw marks left by a family of bears. She sometimes drinks paint water by accident and once drew a series of portraits of her friends as potatoes, which can be seen on her blog.
Filmmakers
Emmett Kerr-Perkinson
Emmett Kerr-Perkinson is a filmmaker living in Austin, Texas. You can find more of his work on his website or follow him on Twitter.