Articles by Nick Martens

Sensational Headlines Force Writer to Create Zombie Pigs

Exaggerated tabloid and website headlines often lead to stories that can’t live up to their promising titles. Nick Martens turns the tables on this situation and produces fittingly sensational tales for sensational headlines.

How to Attend an Indie Rock Concert

Often called indie rock’s Tim “The Toolman” Taylor, Nick Martens provides an in-depth guide on finding, experiencing, and surviving live underground music.

Three Hundred and Sixty Degrees of Marketing

Major record labels are expanding their agreements with their artists. Instead of just making money on CD sales, labels want in on the touring and merchandising revenue as well. Nick Martens looks at the artistic impact of these deals in an attempt to divine their overall effect on the industry.

Putting a Price on Culture

Can we treat books, comics, CDs, movies, or videogames as commodities? Nick Martens literally examines the monetary value of cultural items by breaking down item price by hour of usage.

Happy Halloween from the Daft Pumpkin

Nothing screams “Halloween” more than the friendly jack-o-lantern. In a bizarre ritual, robo-pagan Nick Martens uses a pumpkin to craft a glowing idol in worship to his glimmering gods.

Tacoma’s Exquisite Old Cars

Tacoma is a weird town, to be sure, but weirdness often carries with it some unexpected benefits. Macho gearhead Nick Martens takes us on a tour of Tacoma’s awesome, ugly old cars in a misguided attempt to communicate the “Tacoma Aesthetic.”

“Rainbows” Reveals a Brighter Tomorrow

Yesterday, Radiohead announced that they would self-distribute their upcoming album. With record labels, iTunes, and the future of music in mind, soothsayer Nick Martens analyzes the implications of this surprising but welcome attempt at subverting traditional methods of purchasing albums.

Studyin’ Tunes

In theory, it’s great to listen to music while reading dry modernist criticism, but it rarely works so well in practice. It’s too easy to get distracted or fall asleep. Premier musicologist Nick Martens applies state-of-the-science research methods to combat this problem, and locates four albums that make studying a breeze.

Green Tea Grudge Match

The recent popularity of green tea has companies branding the word on consumables left and right. Investigating the ballyhoo, herbalist Nick Martens reviews just about every green tea product available.

Websites I Love

Internet aficionado Nick Martens shares a few of his favorite links.

PAX: The Legacy of the Ball

The Penny Arcade Expo is like an underground meeting of a vast secret society. Rumors, legends, and other apocrypha pass through the convention halls like plagues. Supernerd Nick Martens witnessed the most storied PAX occurrence in person, and here reveals its details for the first time.

Tacoma’s Weird Restaurants

Tacoma, where The Bygone Bureau is headquartered, is like the slightly mutated younger brother of Seattle. Everything’s a little weirder in Tacoma, even the restaurants. Kevin Nguyen and Nick Martens showcase some of the city’s finest examples of strange businesses that ostensibly serve Asian food.