Psychedelia is the genre of music that evokes the experience of taking psychedelic drugs. But with so many varieties of drugs, you’d think there would be more accompanying musical genres. Teetotaler Jeff Merrion begins to bridge this gap by describing a genre of droney, down-tempo rock: narcotica.

Attempting to escape the gloomy weather of Washington state’s finest city, Jeff Merrion finds comfort in one of our fondest childhood memories–Mario Kart. The game also proves to be a fertile breeding ground for useful neologisms.

Are you the only person in Canada who owns a guitar and hasn’t appeared on a Broken Social Scene album? Jeff “Mogwai�? Merrion reveals his step by step guide to becoming a successful post-rock star.

Spam emails seem to be an insurmountable problem of the digital era, but there may be a solution. Former U.S. Ambassador to Paraguay Jeff Merrion pens a diplomatic letter to spammers, informing them of their misconceptions regarding certain aspects of his life.

Musicians, it seems, are not like a fine wine. How often do they get better with age? Troubled by this distressing phenomenon, Jeff Merrion tries to make sense of the inevitable mediocrity that accompanies aging.

It’s fun to be scared shitless, especially in October. When he wants to be terrified, lionhearted Jeff Merrion turns to music instead of movies.

The life of a barista is difficult enough without the addition of rude, impatient customers. Inside man Jeff Merrion reveals a series of tips to help you avoid being an asshole at your local coffee joint.

Swedish superstore Ikea can overwhelm the senses with its sheer expanse of furniture. Jeff Merrion wanders into this Mecca of cheap junk for the first time, which motivates him to, among other things, invoke the word ‘bumblefuck.’

The allure of the road trip is ingrained into the American spirit. On his journey through the desert, neo-beat Jeff Merrion experiences the mystique of the highway with a slightly unusual passenger.

There are few things left for Jeff Merrion to conquer. Camping in the great outdoors was, until recently, among those things. In an attempt to save his own life, Jeff reasons with a belligerent brown bear through a carefully-worded letter.