Articles by Jeff Merrion

Xiu Xiu: The Failed Experiment

Jeff Merrion lays out his case against the dissonant, disturbed indie pop of Jamie Stewart’s Xiu Xiu.

Halloween Costumes That Would Never Sell

In his free time, Jeff Merrion likes to design children’s costumes that are horribly offensive and tasteless.

The Only Three Questions

Can you figure a person out solely by what they like? Jeff Merrion appraises our judgmental generation with a pop culture personality test.

What We Sacrifice to the Golden Idol of Political Correctness

How much distance has grown between reality and its depiction in American pop culture? Jeff Merrion laments the widening gap between what we experience every day and what we see on TV.

Through the Wasteland

Jeff Merrion braves a desolate Wyoming landscape to reach the fabled California coast by car.

The Innuendo of R. Kelly

In light of R. Kelly’s recent acquittal on all fourteen counts of child pornography, venerable musical scholar Jeff Merrion examines the subtlety and grace of the R&B star’s work.

Reconsidering the Clown Effect

Social critic Jeff Merrion takes another look at the juggalo subculture surrounding the Insane Clown Posse and examines the positive aspects of this community.

“Work Like a Mexican”: A Chronicle of My Life as a Landscaper

120 lbs. bodybuilder Jeff Merrion tries his hand at manual labor and discovers that physical exertion is hard, his employer is a racist, mold is gross, and that an imaginary Conor Oberst is laughing at him.

Hitting the Big Time

By day, Jeff Merrion is a mild-mannered writer for the Bureau; by night, he performs mild-mannered acoustic folk music. Even still, he knows a villain when he sees one and reveals Big Time Entertainment for what they really are: scammers.

Dating the Women of Literature

Literary chauvinist Jeff Merrion gives dating advice on a few characters from classic American fiction.

Of Offensive Bumper Stickers and Car Adornments

Bumper stickers broadcast personal details about the driver, making them just one of the many great ways to judge a stranger. Jeff Merrion discusses bumper stickers annoying enough to incite road rage.

Grief and Mucoceles

According to Wikipedia, a mucocele is “a swelling of connective tissue consisting of collected mucin from a ruptured salivary gland duct,” which is as gross as it sounds. Jeff Merrion develops a mucocele on his lip and undergoes the five stages of grief.