Guest Recommendations: Taylor Lorenz

The Daily Mail‘s social media head likes the insane British version of Law & Order, salads for breakfast, and mysterious Tumblrs.

Law & Order: UK

A mediocre episode Law & Order is better than 99% of television. I’m not going to get deep into ranking the series (though SVU is by far the greatest spinoff). But until recently I was completely unaware that the franchise had expanded internationally. Specifically, to the United Kingdom, for an entire four seasons.

Law & Order: UK takes place in London, and mirrors the format of its American namesake. The episode opens with a scene from everyday life: two hipsters biking to work, a group of school kids running to their parents cars, women sipping beer at a local pub, followed by the gruesome discovery of a murder. The police are called, or in this case, the Metropolitan Police Force, and along with a typical cadre of detectives, they begin to dissect the crime. A coroner or forensic pathologist is consulted, suspects are ruled out, until finally the Crown Prosecution Service has enough evidence to press charges.

t_lorenz_final

Illustration for The Bygone Bureau by Hallie Bateman

This is where things get insane.

The “order” portion of Law & Order: UK is familiar in certain ways. The structure of the arguments and the cadence of the prosecutor’s accusations feel like Law and Order. But it’s almost like going to Duane Reade and discovering your favorite moisturizer changed its formula but not the packaging. Except, instead of changing for the worse, everything is more ridiculous and 100000x better. The witnesses have crazy names, the lawyers are called barristers, the jury is made up of adorable types of British people you just couldn’t FIND in the United States, and most importantly, everyone is wearing wigs. Wigs and crazy pilgrim-looking robes.

I know most of my amusement stems from complete ignorance of the UK legal system, but whatever, Law and Order: UK is amazing. Also, a pretty good reminder that not every justice systems functions like our own.

These clips are great for binge watching.

Salad for breakfast

Let me begin by saying I’m allergic to dairy and eggs. This rules out a solid 90% of American breakfast food options. I’ve never begun my day with a bowl of milk and cereal, I have no idea what an omelette tastes like, and my first/last bite of French toast gave me hives. I’m constantly searching for things to eat before restaurants swap over to their lunch menus that don’t include the words “mush” or “porridge,” which brings me to the almighty breakfast salad…

I discovered the joy of salad for breakfast when I found out Chopt would deliver to my office way earlier than other lunch places opened. I approached this discovery with relative skepticism. Salad doesn’t seem appetizing as a breakfast food because It’s cold, crunchy and dressing is involved. But in fact, it is the perfect breakfast food. Here’s why:

  1. It’s not too heavy and won’t make you feel sick and tired. You know that super full, sort of awful feeling you get after finishing a gigantic stack of pancakes? You’ll never feel that way after a breakfast salad. Plus you can save room for lunch, which is a better meal as a whole.

  2. It’s highly customizable. Claiming you “don’t like salad” is like saying you don’t like sandwiches. It’s a ridiculous statement because salad can be almost anything you want it to be. You can literally put anything on top of a small bed of lettuce and call it a salad. Include an egg on your breakfast salad if you must.

  3. It’s easy to eat at your desk. Let’s be real, that’s probably where you’re consuming most food anyway.

Salad for breakfast, it’s not some weird diet thing, try it.

RedEyedNBlue

For some reason I started following this girl on Tumblr three years ago. I have no idea who she is and I don’t know much about her except that she (presumably) lives in Brooklyn. Regardless, I love her blog. I’ve basically given up on checking my Tumblr dash, but I read her page regularly.

She posts cool contemporary-ish art, good music and lots of cool skateboarding and bike gear. Even if you don’t live in Brooklyn or shop at Urban Outfitters, her blog is chill to read and usually makes me wish I checked Tumblr more often.

For instance, here is a pic of Bill Murray wearing PBR pants, some Geode watercolors by Cecelia Phillips, and an interview with a man on a mission to mentor inner-city Nashville youth by teaching them how to build one-of-a-kind skateboards.

I remember when I first joined Tumblr and would go on arbitrary follow sprees. It was pre-Twitter (for me at least) and I didn’t have any friends who were really “on” the internet. I had never met anyone online, and the whole web still felt like an alternate reality. There was no pressure to follow anyone I knew IRL, and the people whose posts I favd all day felt like characters in an online game.

Of course, the lines blurred and now most of my early Tumblr friends are IRL friends, and anonymity slipped away. But I still have no clue who this girl is, and I still fav all her posts.

Taylor Lorenz is the Head of Social Media and Emerging Platforms at The Daily Mail. She lives in Brooklyn and ghost authors several royal family-related Instagram accounts.