Typing of the Dead Illustrated

An ode to the world’s first and only typing-based zombie shooter.

I’m a fast typer. I mean like 90-words-per-minute fast. But I have to think that if I had learned to type with the Typing of the Dead instead of whatever off-brand Mavis Beacon my local middle school used, I would be even faster. There’s something about killing fast-approaching zombies with typing that adds a certain urgency to the task that just can’t be replicated with, well, NOT killing fast-approaching zombies.

The Typing of the Dead, a 2001 Dreamcast game that makes use of the full-sized keyboard attachment, is notable for making typing a matter of life and death. The reason it’s amazing and fun and one of my favorite games ever, though, is because of the absurd brilliance of the text prompts that players are required to type. A few weeks ago after a lengthy wine-fueled play session, I decided to illustrate some of my favorite actual Typing of the Dead text prompts. Here they are, and remember: real men don’t eat quiche.

01_hi 02_hi 03_hi 04_hi 05_hi 06_hi 07_hi 08_hi 09_hi 10_hi 11_hi 12_hi 13_hi 14_hi 15_hi 16_hi 17_hi 18_hi 19_hi

Elizabeth Simins is a directionally challenged artist and illustrator living in New York. She likes her movies bad, her videogames varied, and her bagels everything. She tweets often and is, even as you read this, desperate to show you pictures of her cats.