There are over 650 kinds of Pokémon in the Pokéverse. Some are adorable and cuddly, such as the chinchilla-like Pikachu or the fox-ish Eevee, while others are absolutely horrifying, like Duskull, who loves the crying of children, and Cubone, who wears the skull of its mother. And most Pokémon have names that are just as clever as their absurd backstories and powers.
I spent some time flipping through my library the other day, and was surprised to find a number of classic books that could potentially be Pokémon names. I found myself wondering what they would look, and what their powers might be. I teamed up with Philly comic illustrator Dustin Johnson to find out.
HERZOG by Saul Bellow
When summoned, Herzog plans its attacks in its mind, but never really acts them out. Sadly it’s a troubled Pokémon, who won’t be able to evolve and become useful until it comes to terms with its place in life, usually by reconnecting to Pokémon it has been distant with.
TARTUFFE by Moliere
The Tartuffe is a deceptive Pokémon. It appears sweet and kind, but in reality, is a master of trickery. It evolves into a Tartough, but later you discover it hasn’t evolved at all.
PYGMALION by George Bernard Shaw
When the Pygmalion attacks, it speaks in an impeccable British accent and gives the opposing Pokémon diction lessons.
STEPPENWOLF by Herman Hesse
A rare Pokémon who suffers from a spiritual crisis, the Steppenwolf can often be found sulking in nature, and wandering without a proper home. If captured, it’s important to nurture your Steppenwolf, as it’s a very depressed, often suicidal Pokémon. The Steppenwolf is actually the evolved state of the Steppenpuppy, which is said to be quite adorable.
BABBITT by Sinclair Lewis
Well-dressed and put together, the Babbitt works incredibly hard to advance its own evolution. However, once it gets close to that evolution, the Babbitt tends to slow down, and follow a new path, much to the frustration of the trainer.
SCARAMOUCHE by Rafeal Sabini
The Scaramouche is a jack of all trades Pokémon, capable of many unique abilities outside of the battle field. Occasionally Scaramouches can be found working in politics, fooling humans due to its fantastic acting ability. When summoned, the Scaramouche attacks with a fencing sword, and uses eloquent speech to confuse its opponent.
CRANFORD by Elizabeth Gaskill
The Cranford is a docile, sweet tempered Pokémon that exhibits all the traits of a spinster. In order to properly goad this Pokémon into battle, trainers have learned to confuse the Pokémon’s name with that of the city Cranford in New Jersey. When this happens, the Cranford becomes enraged. Because, New Jersey.
CANDIDE by Voltaire
The Candide is often found living a sheltered, quiet life in the wild. Due to its naive nature, the Candide tends to be easy to capture, as it thinks the best of people, seldom believing itself to be in any danger. This however, makes it a poor choice in battle against other Pokémon, so trainers have found other uses for Candides. In its most evolved state, Candides can be taught to cultivate a garden.