Missed Corrections

Jonathan San would like to fix several errors that appeared in yesterday’s news story.

missed_corrections

CORRECTION: Yesterday’s article about the proposed budget cuts to Chesterfield County misspelled the city comptroller’s surname. It is Arnold Versey, not Versye.

CORRECTION: Further research has determined that yesterday’s article on the proposed budget cuts to Chesterfield County mistakenly identified the city comptroller as Arnold Versey. Rev. Eileen Curtis, not Arnold Versey, currently serves in that position. Mr. Versey sits on the city Board of Trustees.

CORRECTION: Apologies, the most recent correction misstated Mr. Versey’s position. He does not sit on the Board of Trustees but is the current franchise manager for the KFC restaurant on Main and Oak Street.

CORRECTION: I’m sorry, I meant Main and Beech Street. It’s been a long day. I’m sorry.

CORRECTION: Again, apologies. I was recently told by my neighbor Eileen, that she is neither a Reverend nor the city comptroller. She does something on a website called “Etsy” that involves fabric. You should check it out. I think they have mittens, and man is it cold out! Also, a source close to the Chesterfield County Budgetary Committee has told me that the city comptroller is in fact Hugh Jass.

CORRECTION: They don’t have mittens.

CORRECTION: My source was incorrect regarding the city comptroller, but I’m pretty sure Hugh Jass works down at that gay club Bottoms Up, not that I would know or am gay but that’s just what I’m hearing from people.

CORRECTION: Hugh Jass works at Chesterfield Auto Body Shop; Hugh Junk is the bartender at Bottoms Up.

CORRECTION: Neither Mr. Jass nor Mr. Junk exist. They were both the product of an immature prank from a fraternity brother. Please forgive the unintentional, crude humor.

CORRECTION: Well this is just embarrassing. The article published yesterday on the divisive and incendiary proposed budget cuts to Chesterfield County misattributed the quote, “It’s just one of those days where you don’t want to wake up” to Mayor Tom Deeds. That quote is actually from the song “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit which has been stuck in my head for days. Mayor Deeds actually just said, “No comment.”

CORRECTION: Sorry, Mayor Deeds reminded me that he actually said, “Who are you?”

CORRECTION: We actually never spoke. To be fair, I covered the event remotely because The X-Factor was on.

CORRECTION: Hey, u going to Jody’s party tonight? I kind of want to go but dont want it to be awk because of last time and all that puke I got on her dress. let me know. thx.

CORRECTION: Please ignore the previous correction, it was intended as private correspondence.

CORRECTION: adsfgg!j!@#$UIgH*^afbjk

CORRECTION: Sorry, my pet gerbil just crawled on my keyboard. Please ignore the previous correction.

CORRECTION: It has come to my attention that there are no such proposed budget cuts to Chesterfield County, rendering yesterday’s article wholly false. I’m terribly sorry for the mistake. Please accept this as my Raisin Nations.

CORRECTION: I meant “resignation”, damn auto-correct.


Photo courtesy of the Wikimedia Commons

Jonathan San lives and works in New York City. He is still terrified of The NeverEnding Story. He tweets.