The Updated Rules of the Art Collective

If we’re going to break boundaries, we need to abide by Tim Cushing’s restrictions.

Photo by Neil Krug

1. There are no rules.*

*Because of widespread abuse of rule #1, we have instituted the following rules:

2. Free-will donations to our fund, which helps pay rent and utilities on this loft, are now set at a minimum of $75 per artist and will be collected monthly. This is payable by cash or check.*

*Except for Muriel and Sol. Cash only.

3. The welding equipment is to be used by trained individuals over the age of 18. (Jalen: this means you. You’ll have to find someone else to weld those steel phalli to the bikes you “borrowed” from the BikeShare program.)

4. In addition to the people listed above, we will also no longer take checks from the following: Kieran, Alison, “Rodeo Drive-by,” Wilmer, Krystal, Kim, Micah, Banksy.

5. Each artist may bring one (1) guest only to catered events. Catering is not cheap. These events are a chance to give our artists exposure, not open buffets for your “under the bridge” crowd, Isis. If you continue to bring extra people, you will be asked to pay $10/person. (No checks.)

6. The kitchen needs to be cleaned up after use. If you made the mess, clean it up. Your mother doesn’t live here.*

(*Obviously, Sadie’s mother lives here. But she has expressed no interest in cleaning up after Sadie or anyone else, including herself. This rule applies to you as well, Bonita.)

7. The communal computer is a privilege and quite possibly the only thing of value in this loft. Please use it responsibly. There are many people in this collective and most, if not all of them, would prefer to check their email and update their Facebook statuses (“Challenging the male/female dichotomy! If you agree, post this as your status and do something transgressive to a close friend!”) without being bombarded with porn pop-ups and the latest in malware and viruses.

8. No “remixing” the work of others without permission. No matter your personal interpretation or the perceived amount of freedom granted by the since rescinded first rule, all artwork is to remain intact unless further work is specifically requested by the creator of the piece. Those of you who frequently use psychedelics as a “muse” are asked to sequester yourself in the “sensory chamber” (walk-in closet) for a minimum of 8-12 hours or until these “remixing” urges die down. Please scream incoherently if you need anything.

Transgressively yours,


Photo by Neil Krug

Tim Cushing considers himself a domestic humor writer, saving the more continental "humour" for trips abroad. He also blogs. Because why not. Friends and family remain "awkwardly unamused."