Behind the Scenes of the Viral Video

Ralph Gamelli presents an exclusive backstage look at Guy Gets Nailed in Crotch with Golf Club.

When it was first released on the internet, no one could have predicted the extraordinary success of Guy Gets Nailed in Crotch with Golf Club. Now that it’s turned out to be one of the most watched viral videos ever, there’s a growing interest in all that went on behind the scenes. What follows is merely a small sample of the challenges and backstage drama involved in the making of this unique blockbuster.

Several high-profile filmmakers were attached to the project at different points, but all ended up passing due to scheduling conflicts or a fear that crotch shots had gone out of style in favor of face plants, skateboard tumbles, and escalator rides gone horribly, horribly wrong.

In an effort to maintain secrecy regarding the production, copies of the script — as well as call sheets, t-shirts, hats and buttons — were labeled with the misleading title Man Gets Nailed in Goodies with Baseball Bat.

Two different endings were shot: one in which Victim unwittingly stands too close to Golfer as he swings the club, and another in which Victim is waiting in an endless line at the DMV when a nine-iron comes flying into the scene out of nowhere. Hesitant studio executives balked at the latter, claiming it was too Kafkaesque and that audiences wouldn’t be able to relate.

Although the initial plan was to shoot against a painted backdrop, the director later insisted they film on location at Louie’s Pitch ‘n Putt. Already nervous execs predicted disaster when the movie subsequently went over budget by $14.

To make matters worse, principal photography ran long by nearly twenty minutes, causing several of the locals playing behind the crew to yell rude things and demand that they be allowed to play through.

The original actor who played Victim had to be replaced because he couldn’t stop from flinching, take after take, an instant before receiving the crotch shot. No one can seem to remember his name or, for that matter, the name of the actor who took over the role.

After preview audiences complained that the ending was too abrupt, a six-second epilogue was hastily written and shot in which Golfer laughs hysterically and Victim painfully mutters his now famous catchphrase before blacking out from the pain.

It was extremely difficult to get the mechanical shark to work properly, and the director was forced to work around it — a creative challenge that resulted in the film coming out significantly different from what was originally planned.

If you look closely, you’ll notice a shadowy figure wandering in the background of the scene. Rumors allege that this is the ghost of a golfer who was struck and killed by lightning more than 30 years ago, and that he’s doomed to roam the course for all eternity. This is true.

The movie studio wanted nothing to do with the finished product and refused to distribute it, so the director signed up at YouTube and the rest is history. Within a month, the movie had been viewed 800,000 times and linked by several prominent blogs, setting a new standard in the genre of mindless crotch humor.

A director’s cut, using the alternate ending, was uploaded just last week and isn’t faring nearly as well. Devastation69 called it “Sucktastic…go slink off and die,” while MrHappyPants remarked that, although it was a noble experiment, ultimately it was too Kafkaesque and he couldn’t relate.

Ralph Gamelli is of average height, weight, and intelligence, and requires the average amount of time to grow a respectable mustache. His ability to write an interesting bio, however, is far below average.