Staff List: Muxtapes

The Bureau Staff share their streaming mix tapes, which tackle tough topics–such as sex, submarines, and vomit–through the power of song.

Muxtape lets you create an online mix tape for anyone to stream. It’s clever design has everything to do with its simplicity. All you need to do is sign up and start uploading mp3s. As twentysomethings with iTunes and self-imposed mix tape laws, we’ve decided to share some mix tapes of our own. (Special thanks to the online Cassette Generator.) And for you hipsters who love irony, check out Catbird’s muxtape.


This mix tape is all about the best things in life: love, drugs, and sex. A couple of songs, such as “Take Ecstasy with Me,” discuss all three topics. While The Bygone Bureau does not officially promote or discourage any of these activities, it’s hard not to feel pressure from Antony Hegarty (who sings a version of Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day”) to fall in love, refuse Jeff Tweedy a drug binge, or resist an invitation for sex from Beck.


This mix tape, aptly titled “Chocolate Barf Fairies” (Volume Seven, of course) is an extension of my conflicting moods. That is, this mix tape attempts to contrast songs that are identifiably barfy and loud against songs that are much more fairy-esque. Get it? Well it doesn’t matter: if Autechre’s “paralel Suns” [sp] doesn’t emit a vomit-like feeling from your gut, I’m not sure what does. Some songs, like Goldfrapp’s fantastic new song “Eat Yourself,” are a strange combination of the two feelings. The mix tape reels from one spectrum of quiet, serene speculation to crass noise-excrement fairly quickly, so please feel free to press pause when you get a little queasy.


Sometimes I listen to a song and say, “All this is missing is a great video.” Mark Romanek is a maker of beautiful music videos. He’s never subtle, but that’s what sets him apart. Blatant religious icons (Nine Inch Nail’s “Closer”) and overly dramatic sets (Lenny Kravitz’s “Are You Gonna Go My Way”) are perfect in music videos. Artists are allowed to stare in the camera in a video, and I think they should. Fuck faux concert footage.

The following is a mix of songs that could use big sweeping camera shots, an overwrought premise, and a $15 million dollar budget.

And One Hour Photo sucked, Mark. Sorry.


When I put together a mix tape, I think of it as musical accompaniment to something specific I’m doing or will do. For example, I have a mix for running, doing homework, cooking, and, of course, driving. My pretentiously titled “Magnifique Pacifique” mix is what I want to listen to when I’m in a submarine, which is something I plan to do after getting my degree in marine biology (a.k.a. renting The Life Aquatic). I can’t imagine a more fitting soundtrack to deep sea exploration than low-key indie pop and electronica.


The most important thing about this mix, like any mix, is that it begins with LCD Soundsystem’s “Tribulations.” Please feel free to use this rule to evaluate the entries from the other Bureau writers. You’ll also note that I’ve taken the unconventional strategy of placing a nine-minute song in the prime third slot. It’s a risky move that has sunk many mixes, but I’m confident about its execution here because it’s impossible to listen to “Swans” too many times. Believe me. Finally, I have included one leaked song, the Silver Jews’ “Suffering Jukebox,” which makes my mix even more illegal than the already blatantly-criminal nature of this entire Muxtape endeavor. This extra delinquency, I think, gives my mix the X-factor it needs to go deep in the playoffs.