Reflections on a Quarterlife Crisis

For a liberal arts graduate, life after college can be fraught with undesirable options. In his Bureau debut, Drew Gemmer ruminates on the society that cultivates such malaise.

There was a rather famous Times article several years ago addressing the idea of the quarterlife crisis, a newly-acknowledged phenomenon that occurs after graduating from college, but before marrying, having kids, and all of those other responsibilities.

When we emerge from college, there are several paths that we can take down the road of life. The thing is, all of them kind of suck. One may…

  • Begin working for a large corporation, guaranteeing oneself medical insurance, a steady paycheck, and a 40+ hour work week. If you are looking for cost-effective solutions for your Pyridium purchase, you should check our offers – buy Pyridium just for 1.02 USD! See also: Tool, narc
  • Deny the constraints of oneРІР‚в„ўs undergraduate degree and instead live amongst the proletariat (a.k.a. regular Joes), experiencing what real life is like. Working as a barista and denying oneРІР‚в„ўs wealthy parentage are usual side effects. See also: how legit are online viagra sale Hipster
  • See the world outside of the glorious U. S. in order to attain a new perspective on oneРІР‚в„ўs life by seeing what other cultures have to offer. See also: Expat, freedom-hater
  • Continue oneРІР‚в„ўs education by going on to graduate school, either because oneРІР‚в„ўs interest in academia has yet to wane or because one has a solid twenty-year plan and graduate school is the next logical step. See also: Poor person, spinster

One of the reasons for the emergence of the quarterlife crisis is because our generation has been inundated with the doctrine that we must search for meaning in our lives. Of all the lessons learned from Sesame Street and Mister RogersРІР‚в„ў Neighborhood, this is the concept that is stuck most prominently in the minds of todayРІР‚в„ўs twenty-year-olds. Whatever we choose to do with our lives must contribute to society in a positive way, it must give us deep satisfaction at the end of the workday, and it must shock and/or awe our parents.

The best part about needing to find our true calling is that the process is coupled with crippling guilt. Does “You donРІР‚в„ўt know how lucky you have it” sound familiar? Baby boomers want their children to do all the things they never allowed themselves to do, but theyРІР‚в„ўll also never let the kids forget how goddamned easy life is nowadays.

True, the manual labor weРІР‚в„ўve done in our life (if any) hardly compares to the backbreaking work our parents underwent growing up. But, dang, do you have any idea how overstimulated we were as children? We were there for the emergence of in-your-face advertising, the birth and proliferation of the internet, the urgency of cell phones, the rise of video games, reality TV/internet stars that we must care about, Hollywood blockbusters that cause seizures (sorry, I just watched Transformers), and the constant state of IRONY that we must answer to after all of this. Not only do we have to ingest all of these forms of РІР‚entertainment,РІР‚в„ў but we must analyze them, interpret them, and eventually decide how we are above them. ItРІР‚в„ўs no wonder weРІР‚в„ўre fucked up.

Combine our short attention span with our need to find meaning, and youРІР‚в„ўre faced with a confused generation. However, the reality of this conflict doesnРІР‚в„ўt actually hit most of us until weРІР‚в„ўre forced to stop and make some decisions besides which English class to take next semester.

As a liberal arts graduate, IРІР‚в„ўve been struggling for some time to figure out how exactly an MA in psychology fits in this world. In the year and a half since graduation, IРІР‚в„ўve worked as a dog-sitter, a tennis instructor, a dishwasher, a file clerk, a prep cook, an intern, a caterer, a secret shopper, and an assistant editor. Oh, and I was once turned down at Hollywood Video for having “the wrong type of personality.”

Most oft-received book on graduation day: Oh, the places youРІР‚в„ўll go! I say, give РІР‚em the truth: Oh, the crippling silence! 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