Nothing screams “Halloween” more than the friendly jack-o-lantern. In a bizarre ritual, robo-pagan Nick Martens uses a pumpkin to craft a glowing idol in worship to his glimmering gods.

Ever since Hemingway and Pound made their way across the ocean almost 100 years ago, the title of expatriate has carried a stigma of hope and elitism. Told through the lens of Germany’s richest and also smuttiest city, newbie expat Locke McKenzie discovers that the only way to get by abroad is to be a good American.

This is the seventh installment in a series of essays by globe-trotter Kevin Nguyen, who is currently studying at Charles University in Prague, Czech Republic. Although Prague is generally considered a cheap vacation destination, Kevin finds he needs to take a page from Thoreau to keep his checking account happy.

Wes Anderson has been paid to make the same movie over and over again for the past decade. His new movie, The Darjeeling Limited, is no exception. Perturbed by critics who view this similarity as a flaw, Caitlin Boersma offers a defense of the Anderson motif, which emphasizes beauty over reality.

Tacoma is a weird town, to be sure, but weirdness often carries with it some unexpected benefits. Macho gearhead Nick Martens takes us on a tour of Tacoma’s awesome, ugly old cars in a misguided attempt to communicate the “Tacoma Aesthetic.”

Desperate for traffic after a week of server issues, the Bureau Staff turns to an area guaranteed to bring in the readers: snarky indie shirts. In this installment, we discuss Scientology, robots, and the nature of human sexuality.

This is the sixth installment in a series of essays by globe-trotter Kevin Nguyen, who is currently studying at Charles University in Prague, Czech Republic. With skinheads and thieves on the prowl, the city can become a dangerous place come nightfall.

An explanation for the recent site downtime, and an introduction to The Bygone Bureau for readers unfamiliar with the site.

In this off the wall one-act, playwright Jordan Barber sets the scene of an eccentric/insane library staff hoping to increase readership.

It’s fun to be scared shitless, especially in October. When he wants to be terrified, lionhearted Jeff Merrion turns to music instead of movies.